Meditating with monks: day two

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Being mindful outside my room, with a new broom

By Gabrielle Jackson

11.45am: Couldn’t sleep last night and then fell asleep about a thousand times in meditation. I even dreamt. Once I nearly fell over while walking. 

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Have I, in spite of all that however, had a major breakthrough? In the last sitting meditation (the third for the day) I just broke through the tired barrier. I ended the session feeling happy. And not even in that much pain.

4.20pm: Just back from dinner (a juice box) and have to report that no, I have not made a breakthrough. That session (one hour sitting, one hour walking, one hour sitting) was just as painful as yesterday. At least yesterday I was able to sit still for 34 minutes. Today I could only manage 20. 

I had an interview with Sayadaw. My first question was, ‘When will the pain go?’ He basically said that I will learn to concentrate so well that I block it out. Are you kidding me? I thought the pain would STOP.

-->The trouble is, once the pain gets bad, I can’t concentrate at all, so I don’t see how I’m going to get to the point where I concentrate so well I forget about the pain.

If there is such a thing as a pain barrier, it’s pretty damn high. 

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Oh well, must go sweep since it’s personal chores hour and I’ve slept through the other two today.

5.12pm: Oh shivers, my outdoor broom just fell apart. Why don’t they make the handles longer on the Asian continent? From the Middle East, through the Sub-Continent and all the way through south-east Asia, they have the tiniest handles of the brooms so that you have to lean over to sweep. Don’t these people have back problems? Or is that an affluence disease?

9.47pm: That last session – two-and-a-half hours sitting and one hour standing – was a killer. I am in pain. Sayadaw told me I’d notice a change on day four or five. That means I’ve got another two, potentially three, days of this pain to sit through. Apparently if you get really good at this you can live forever. We even chant about it. I don’t want to live forever, but I would like to die in old age free from pain. So yes, I can do it. The question is, do I want to? 

Read on for day three
 
Don't miss Meditating with monks: arrival day

or Meditating with monks: day one