Calm down dear...sexism is leaving the City

Yesterday I encountered some sexism in the office. It was like opening a picnic basket to discover a bloodied, maggot-infested arm stump instead of potato salad; disappointing (no one wants to eat maggot-infested arm stump) but thrilling too, for reasons I'll come to shortly.

The conversation was about a piece of information relating to a client. I asked if a male colleague had clarifed some information we needed and he said 'I thought you were doing that?' I said 'It's really your responsibility to follow it up, and to know that detail'. He said 'I thought you were going to call that girl who sends you the information.' I said 'No, that's really something you should do.' He said 'Fine. I just thought you were going to do it. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.' I said 'I don't think I am'. He said 'We've already spent five minutes talking about it.' End of conversation.

I'm sorry to record such a dull conversation. We can agree there was a breakdown in communication as to who was meant to do what. No problem there. But any seasoned watcher of sexism will spot two phrases of interest (1) 'you're making a mountain out of a mole hill' and (2) 'that girl,' and smile with recognition.

There were no raised voices or suggestions this was a problem bigger than knowing what an account manager is responsible for. The conversation took about 30 seconds, not five minutes. That is exaggeration. If it had been left at 'Fine. I just thought you were going to do it,' it would be a very different interaction. But to then go on to say 'You're making a mountain out of a mole hill' changes the conversation. The reference to 'that girl' is interesting too. The information in question is sent to me by a senior male at the client firm. My colleague should know this given the importance of the communication.  I think the implication is that the correspondence is the domain of 'admin girls'.
As any down to earth woman does I immediately questioned my reaction and judgement. Was I being too sensitive about this? So I applied the 'Man Test'. The 'Man Test' is important. You basically substitute yourself in the relevant conversation with a man of similar professional stature. I concluded it was sexism because if our (male) Head of Sales had said to my colleague, 'You need to know this kind of detail' the response would not have been 'You're making a mountain out of a mole hill,' it would have been 'Yeah, yeah, OK, I'm on it.' My gut feel was 'that was some sexist Attitude right there' and the Man Test confirmed it.

The incident was not dangerous, hardly offensive, and not remotely in the same universe as being called a 'tethered goat' (a famous sex discrimation case in the City). But let's call it what it was; sexism. The whole thing reminded me of David Cameron telling his female Opposition colleague to 'calm down dear'...all very easy to fob off as an ad-inspired joke but we know it's being done to casually, sometimes very subtley, put women down.

But this is hardly a poster story to prove the glass ceiling still exists so why am I writing about it? Well, that's just it. I was caught off guard because where I work it's so rare.

This year will be my seventh year as a stockbroker in the City of London. I was 27 when I started and, as I am technically and legally a woman, I can assure you I've seen, heard and encountered sexism that has made me roar with laughter, wince, and gasp in equal measure. I'm happy to say it's never made me cry but that was a question I was asked once in a City interview 'Do you cry at work much...because we can't hire a girl who cries.' If you apply the Man Test to 'Do you cry at work' in an interview I think you'll agree that's some Gold Standard Sexist Bollocks.

But yesterday's 'Mountain out of a Mole Hill' comment really caught me by surprise. I went home and realised that for the past five years I've been working in a haven of stockbroking gender respect. I was out of practice. It was almost thrilling...like I'd stumbled on some forgotten relic of the City, or found that bloodied human stump in my lunch box.

Perhaps it's because I work at a young company - both in terms of years in business and in the age of the people within the business. Perhaps it's because of the personalities who set the business up. I should declare I'm a shareholder in the company, I'm married to the Chief Executive and have been involved with the business from the outset. But I know I've been offered very good career opportunities over the years based on merit and I'm also one of the most vocal people internally about our weaknesses when it comes to women in the business. We do have them. We don't buck the general trend. There are no women on our board and I am one of only two women who sit on the Heads of Department committee (and mine is a department of one). Women make up only 20% of our workforce and in three rounds of graduate intakes we have not yet hired a woman graduate. We have found it very difficult to attract female grads despite wanting to. Why is this?

I can guess that stockbroking sounds like a 'numbers' job. Are there stats to show that more women grads apply to other sectors? I don't know, I need to look that up. If true (I would never have considered broking as a career while at University for that reason) this is a great shame because, like sales and marketing, stockbroking is all about telling, or writing, an engaging story. It's also about building long term relationships with clients.

I also wonder, and worry, that young women think 'broking = old men = sexist bullshit = no way on God's green Earth I am applying for that malarky'. Historically they'd probably be right (though I'm not convinced broking is statistically worse than any other sector). But this week's 'mole hill' incident highlighted that no matter the industry or its reputation you can suddenly find yourself at the forefront of a great change in attitudes. I think the City is moving into a new era of modernity and I think the shock it's currently undergoing - redundancies, losses, mergers etc - will force change faster. Businesses that want to survive will need to professionalise.

So, if you're a grad thinking about a job then stick the City on your Serious Options list, even if you're an English Lit major. And if you're a woman in the City now and you stumble across some sexism in the corridors then call it and deal with it how you see fit. But do then recommend it to the Endangered States list and tuck the memory away to tell to your disbelieving granddaughters. For men have already proven that mountains are made over time by geophysical forces, not moles or women.

An interview with Gabrielle Jackson

What did you get up to in 2011?

I finally took off on my Kebab Quest in September – only seven years in the planning. My adventures in the Middle East have been unbelievably eye-opening and fun. I think I landed on Cloud Nine around October and haven’t come down since. This is really a dream come true.

The first half of the year I was a bit sadder. I felt sad about leaving London and worried I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I do believe, however, that I made the most of my final months there. Shoreditch, Dalston, London Fields, Bethnal Green: I didn’t venture beyond your borders for much of the year and I will never regret it. I felt like there was something going on in east London this year and I felt buzzed to be part of it, even if being part of it just meant I got a super cool pair of new glasses.

What was your Most Useful Thought of the year?

Everybody likes kebabs, even warring countries. If we could just concentrate on what unites us rather than divides us, we’d all be happier.

What’s on your ‘to do’ list for 2012?

Make the most of my Middle Eastern adventures and write a damn good book about kebabs. Africa, India and south-east Asia might also get ticked off the travel bug list.

Which villain really yanked your chain in 2011?

The Egyptian army, who stole the people’s revolution by stealth. It yanked my chain primarily for the virginity tests it systematically carried out on female protestors during the February/March protests. In particular, the villainous general who defended the tests saying they needed to be carried out so that the women couldn’t claim to have been raped in custody.

...and who was your hero?

Samira Ibrahim, the brave woman who sued the Egyptian military after she was subjected to a virginity test in March. Her case forced the court to ban the army from performing virginity tests.

What book/s did you read this year that we might like?

Without a doubt, How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran is the book that captured my imagination in 2011. It has shaped my thoughts and writing since. In fact, I would go so far as to say that a book has not had such an impact on my life since I read Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery when I was 10.

What did you discover in 2011 the rest of us should know about?

That women all over the world are denied access to tampons because some people believe that they can take your virginity. Only having sexual intercourse can take a man’s or a woman’s virginity.

Will you be secreting a slow or dirty vendetta across the threshold of 2012?

Anti-women women. You know, the ones who say things like, ‘I hate female bosses’, ‘A lot of women do make up being raped’ and ‘Women are such bitches.’

What could you do without in 2012?

Judgy wudgies, as my friend Belinda calls them, aka judgemental people. Spend more time perfecting yourself before you start making judgements about the lives of others.

Gabrielle Jackson is a feminist writer and publisher of this blog. She is travelling around eating kebabs. You can follow her on Twitter @gabriellecj

How do you praise your children?

I recently wrote about a girlfriend who has made a conscious effort not to praise her step-daughters with tags like 'Beautiful' and 'Gorgeous' but instead to praise her with words like 'clever' and 'kind'. Reading this another friend sent me this article which looks at research into how praise can shape children's attitudes to education and learning. I found it really interesting, particularly the argument that praising for effort, rather than accomplishment, is a better way to boost self-esteem and participation in learning.

If you spend time helping kids with homework you might find this very interesting.

http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/oct07/vol65/num02/The-Perils-and-Promises-of-Praise.aspx

Katherine.

A New Year interview with Katherine Burgdorf

What did you get up to in 2011?

I did a lot of fantastic things in 2011 but some standouts were getting married, travelling to Iran and doing two 3km open water swims. I also learnt, just last week, to tumble turn in the pool (which I can see remaining one of my top 5 lifetime achievements). I had a gallop on a horse for the first time in over 10 years, changed jobs at work, and made good on my promise to embrace applied technology in 2011 – including Skype, Twitter, Facebook and this blog.

What was your Most Useful Thought of the year?

Making a change can feel like failure but it can yield surprisingly good outcomes.

What’s on your ‘to do’ list for 2012?

The list is getting long. Top of the list is to get started with some regular volunteer work - if I only get one thing done this year, that’s the one. But, I would also like to travel to Poland at Easter to visit Auschwitz, finish writing a story I have started, and add one other new travel destination in 2012. I would like to do at least one ocean swim & learn the butterfly stroke. You may be able to tell I’ve hit a mid-thirties time panic.

Which villain really yanked your chain in 2011?

There were two major villains for me this year, Italy’s former president Silvio Berlusconi and the former head of the IMF Dominique Strauss-Kahn. They have obviously not received the memo. On the upside, DSK’s disgraceful behaviour made way for a woman to run the IMF and Italy may shortly be owned by China. Bingo.

...and who was your hero?

Each one of those patient, hopeful protestors who walked into Tahrir Square in Egypt. Firstly, for forcing the end of the regime and secondly, for going back to the square more recently to protest again about the army’s continuing influence in Egyptian politics. Bravo.

And, on a more domestic, but no less important front, my other Hero of 2011 is my friend Sarah Faraway who write to me recently to say she and her partner Rob have stopped referring to his daughters as ‘gorgeous’ and ‘cute’ and instead now call them ‘kind’ or ‘clever’ or ‘smart’ etc. That is powerful stuff.

What book/s did you read this year that we might like?

Loads. I did a creative writing class this year in which I handed in a series of dreadful stories written on the fly in the office before class BUT the best thing that came out of it was a fantastic new reading list. I highly recommend Marilynne Robinson’s two novels Home and Gilead. I was also introduced to Alice Munro...if you want to know how good a short story can be...then buy ‘Dance of the Happy Shades’. The two most influential books on Iran were both of those by Azir Nafisi including ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’. And do yourself a massive favour and read Caitlin Moran’s ‘How to be a Woman.’ It’s inspirational and bloody funny.

What did you discover in 2011 the rest of us should know about?

If you watch The Wire with subtitles you can work out what’s going on. My Baltimore Westside/Eastside lingo is superb.

Will you be secreting a slow or dirty vendetta across the threshold of 2012?

I think I’m vendetta-free.

What could you do without in 2012?

Almost everything. I think I might impose a ‘charity shop only’ approach for 2012.