Pant rant

Speed Blog, by Wendy Saunt

If there was ever a word that makes me feel decidedly unwell, it’s panties. I know it’s
meant to be sweet and innocuous, but it isn’t - it makes me want to be sick down my
front. It is, you see, the word of choice for glamour photographers, Japanese
businessmen and their ilk - as in “I know you’re only 15 but if you could just slip your
panties off, love” and “I know I’m married with teenage daughters but I really want
some panties worn by schoolgirls” - and that can never be a good thing.

And, of course, aside from the nasty ‘barely legal’ connotations, there are so many
better words for them: grundies, shreddies, underclackers or the achingly beautiful and
simple knickers, to name but a few.

Knickers - proper knickers, that is, with a proper back bit - are very important indeed
and it’s time to bring them back. Back, that is, to the lingerie sets they rightly belong to
and from which someone decided to replace them with fugly boy shorts and anus-
garroting g-strings. Seriously, did you, Marks & Spencer man, ask any woman about
this? Any woman over the age of 25, that is?

Seeing as I don’t think you did, let me tell you this: women love knickers - with their
canny ability to cover arse, be relatively flattering (unlike their respectively dowdier
and sluttier compatriots) and not have to be constantly retrieved from one’s bottom.
So, stop denying us ladies one of life’s great pleasures - a really great pair of knickers.

Wendy Saunt is a interior designer, writer and art consultant. She lives in London. You can follow her on Twitter @Wendy__Saunt