Speed blog by Sarah Farraway
I will confess to being a long-time lover of the G-string. Obsessed
as I am with the dreaded VPL and fond as I am of a nice pair
of tailored trousers - the G-string has been my friend for many a year.
Probably since the night my father suggested I go knickerless under my
skirt for the school disco to avoid a case of VPL. He thought it was
unsightly. I was 15 - and aghast. I had visions of being the ‘girl with
no knickers’ for the rest of my school days, of pimply teenage boys
hanging around like flies. I wore the knickers, put up with the VPL
and bought my first G-string soon after.
I always found them comfortable but my adventures in
G-string land have caused some embarrassment. There was the time I left
my favourite black cotton Bendon G-string at my friends’ grandparents
house after staying there with her. They sent it back to us in the mail
with a note saying they weren’t sure what it was but thought it probably
belonged to one of us. This was 15 years ago and I saw them two months
ago at her wedding and even though they are now very elderly and have
dementia, they chuckled as they remembered me as ‘the G-string girl’.
Or the time my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious
to wear my (admittedly very tiny) candy-pink coloured G-string as an
eye patch at a dinner party we were hosting, when I had a crush on one
of our male guests and was trying to impress him.
But I had a baby last year and sad as this is to admit,
my bottom is NOT the same. Its not round and perky like it used to be
and it just doesn’t look - or feel - good in a G-string anymore. So
I tried developing a fondness for the ‘big knicker’.....but still
there’s the VPL problem. Even the ones that go right under your bottom
leave a line across your thigh. I am a daggy full-time mum these days
and can’t be bothered to wear a bra most days but I still have
standards!
So my solution ladies, which I’m sure you’ve all tried,
is the French knicker, with their cut across the middle of your bottom.
I love them. They look beautiful and even though they sound like a VPL
nightmare, if you get them in a delicate enough lace or other material,
they don’t show - at all. And the best bit is I chuck them in my
front-load washing machine on a delicate cycle and they come out good as
new.
But I do suggest being discerning about who you get
dressed in front of. As I walked around my bedroom in a lovely pair of
pale-green lace French knickers recently, my 9-year-old stepson laughed
and said “Sarah, your undies don’t fit, your bottom’s hanging out”.
Charming.
Sarah Farraway is living and studying in Sydney while raising a newborn and three stepchildren.
Ha! This made me laugh so much!
ReplyDeleteI have to admit to not wearing g-strings much anymore, I just can't be bothered and find them a bit uncomfortable. I wear jeans most days and swear by my trusty Bonds Hipster Boyleg (which incidentally have been called Hipster longer than the Hipsters of the inner west...) in black. My mum sends me a new care package to London every year or so.