Who are you calling a male feminist? asks Tony Yoo

This week Tony Yoo writes about breaking through the feminist label debate and why it's important men are feminists.

Years ago, in my early twenties, I made a decision to stop using the word “girl” to describe a woman over 18. A grown man resents being called a “boy” so I wondered why it was (and still is) acceptable for adult women to be constantly referred to as juveniles. It made no sense to me. I thought the practice was condescending to women.

This led to a curious chain of events. While most people did not notice my new habit, those that did looked at me like as if I was from outer space. I could see they wanted to utter the dreaded phrase “political correctness gone mad”.

Surprisingly many of those who were cynical about my decision were women. There was a degree of suspicion as to why I would do such a thing. Responses ranged from “What’s all that about?” to “Is he doing it to get women into bed?”

That reaction was incredibly offensive to me. If I didn’t know it already it affirmed that feminism had unfortunately died in Generation Y and certainly most of Generation X. How did treating 51% of the population as people become a passing fad?

When I expressed this disappointment to people the reaction was even more harsh, especially among my more “blokey” circles. Among the printable barbs were “militant lesbian” and “nominally heterosexual”. That was fine, it’s just harmless teasing (if not shamelessly homophobic) – my friends were already well used to my “radical” ideas.

However the reactions that truly puzzled me were the serious ones calling me a “male feminist”. What does that mean? Why am I not just a feminist? Don’t I believe in the same principles as a “female feminist”?

I understand that in the contemporary history of feminism there has been a long debate about what to call men who support women’s rights. Some feminist groups use the term pro-feminist and some prefer male supporters take on the feminist moniker themselves. That is an argument about labelling, and this is not what I wish to discuss here. The concept of a male feminist is what I’m interested in.

Over the years I’ve had many strong female role models who’ve inspired me. Their actions shaped the way I view the world and carried myself. They did not all necessarily declare themselves feminists nor are they household names, but certainly shaped my views on women and feminism.

What follows is a very small sample of the women I admire.

My mother had seven sisters  and one brother younger than all of them. My Catholic grandparents wanted a boy and ended up with nine children in their quest despite the household struggle with poverty. One can only imagine how the girls felt growing up in this situation.

When my mother was a child all she wanted to do was read books, attend university, and see the world. However with the family in such poor financial shape those hopes remained unfulfilled – all five of her older sisters left school after primary in order to work on the farm for the family’s survival. Even at a very young age my mother was determined to overcome this predicament, but she was totally reliant on “marrying well” to improve her life.

She did indeed break the cycle. My mother finished tertiary education, travelled the world, and taught her young son French (all of which I have embarrassingly forgotten). Her full story would be  worth a blog on its own.

Dame Anita Roddick was the founder of The Body Shop cosmetics chain and a political activist. Her achievements are numerous – promotion of Fair Trade with developing nations, co-operative human rights campaigns with Amnesty International, work with underprivileged children in Eastern Europe and Asia [link to http://www.childrenontheedge.org/], and the famous Ruby advertisements, illustrated below, are just some examples. By chance I heard Roddick speak in 2001 and she lit a fire in me.  I had just begun my career out of university but she reminded me that earning a living should be no excuse to stop fighting for social justice. Within a couple of years I was running elections and making speeches at rallies.

Former Australian Senators Lyn Allison and Natasha Stott-Despoja both had distinguished parliamentary careers, but I’d like to mention them here specifically in the context of their hard work in having the medical abortion drug RU486 legalised down under. Despite almost every other developed nation allowing the use of this safe and less invasive alternative to surgical abortion, Australia was left behind by conservative forces. Both senators spent over ten years building support to remove ministerial veto. Finally in 2006 RU486 was legalised, and the occasion was the first time in Australian history that women across the political spectrum sponsored a bill originating in the Senate that would pass both houses of parliament to become law. A sad footnote was that less than 50% of the men in the Senate voted in support of the bill (in contrast to 90% of the vote from women).

Finally, Katherine and Gabrielle, the creators of this blog, are my latest heroes for starting Not The Style Pages. Its declaration “no fashion or celebrities” immediately prompts the reaction “It’s about time!” Intelligent discussion should be on the record for all to enjoy, not just contained to inner city dinner parties. I certainly hope that their contribution to the zeitgeist will attain a decent audience in the coming months – I have great faith in the philosophy of this particular blog.

The point about all these women is that without a vibrant feminist movement brilliant women will be lost or wasted though inequality and gender bias. Intelligent people who may inspire our daughters and sons alike may never reach their potential, through failures in a patriarchal system. What if my mother was never educated? What if Dame Anita Roddick thought becoming an entrepreneur was a dream out of reach for a mother of two young children? What if Senators Allison and Stott-Despoja were discouraged from politics as a career option because it’s too masculine? What if Katherine and Gabrielle did not start this blog because they missed being raised in an environment conducive for girls to think critically and seriously?

Worrying about the world our daughters will grow up in is a universal concern. It should make no difference whether you’re a woman or a man.

Girls (and boys) are greatly affected and shaped by the messages that society conveys to them in their formative years. By the disrespectful treatment of women we are in effect sacrificing the potential of half of the population. Even the most ardent conservative could surely see the harm in wasting half the available (economic) resources!

I recently visited Iran and while it may not surprise you to learn that the Iranian government has not ratified (or signed) the United Nations Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women, it might surprise you that the USA hasn't either. Even in the “developed” world there is a long road ahead for the equal treatment of girls and women.

Feminism demands your attention and energy – regardless of your gender. Gestures that may seem small are still worthy, especially if it catches people’s attention....like never using the word “girl” to describe a woman.

By Tony Yoo